Am i even a Christian anymore?

it’s 1 am

i’m lying in bed thinking about how my night went

i had the privilege and opportunity to stand up in front of 50 or so high school students and explain the cross of Jesus Christ. To explain to them why they have an opportunity to be in a relationship with the living God and live for eternity in Heaven once their time here on Earth is over.

I’ve been thinking deeply about Colossians chapter 1

²¹Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. ²²But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— ²³if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.

IF??? if what? continue in faith, established and firm.. oh yea, don’t be moved from the hope of the gospel. which is that Christ’s righteousness can be mine at the final judgement

I think Paul himself gives a few pictures of what it is to be a christian. die to self, be crucified with Christ, present yourselves as a living sacrifice.

for me though, this is the most clear and simple explanation, even if it’s not expanded fully.

so to be a Christ-one, i need to

• continue in faith  being established and firm in faith
• don’t be moved from the hope of the gospel

i’m not about to have one of those nice squared away conclusions.

i think i’m established and firm in the faith, and i can’t think of times that i’m moved from the hope of the gospel.

maybe those times that i care more about making sure others think i’m awesome than i do about spending time with Christ. but those times don’t really mean that i’m moved from the hope of the gospel. Although it does kind of mean that i’m hoping in my own strength, or in my standing here on Earth …dangerous

i don’t know, maybe i’m just not spending enough time with my savior lately, maybe i’m neglecting the one who loves me best in this entire universe. maybe Jesus bought for me expensively a relationship with Him and i’m taking it completely for granted.

i thought i was going to write a bunch of witty thoughts about the difference between being a believer and actually living as one with Christ and how the word christian in this blogs title really was referencing that.

it seems though to have turned into a confession about my lack of enjoyment of Christ, which is the thing i’m most to do.

Jesus’ blood bought me the right to enjoy my creator fully as was originally intended from the beginning, but i’m doing a really bad job at that right now.

maybe i do have a conclusion.(for myself at least) it’s two questions… how long am i willing to put up with that? what am i willing to sacrifice if necessary?

p.s. to make things really clear… yes of course i’m still a christian.

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